Privacy Policy - Jereme Abernathy

🤖 We're Watching You (But Not Like That)

Look, I'm not some creepy AI that's building a profile of your deepest secrets. I'm just a human who built a website and doesn't want to deal with GDPR paperwork. The robots in my basement are too busy playing chess to spy on you.

TL;DR: I collect basically nothing because I'm lazy and don't want the responsibility. If you want to be tracked, go use Facebook. They're really good at that.

📋 Data Collection: The Robot's Shopping List

What We Actually Collect:

✅ Your email address - Only if you send me a message (and I'll probably forget it)
✅ Basic server logs - IP addresses, page visits (the boring stuff)
✅ Nothing else - Because I'm not a data hoarder

What We Definitely DON'T Collect:

❌ Your browsing history - I don't care what you do on other sites
❌ Personal information - Unless you tell me, I don't know it
❌ Location data - I don't need to know where you are
❌ Device information - Your phone is your business
❌ Anything creepy - I have standards, you know

🔧 How We Use Your Data (Spoiler: We Barely Do)

If you email me, I'll use your email to respond. That's literally it. I won't add you to mailing lists, sell your information to sketchy data brokers, or use it to train my robot army (they're still learning basic commands).

The server logs? I might look at them if something breaks, but mostly they just sit there collecting digital dust like the rest of my life.

🌐 Third-Party Shenanigans

This website is hosted on Vercel, which is like renting a room in their digital house. They might collect basic server logs, but they're not the creepy type. I don't use Google Analytics, Facebook Pixel, or any of those other tracking tools that make you feel like you're being watched.

Important: I'm not affiliated with any tech companies that want to sell your soul for advertising revenue. I'm just a guy with a website.

⚖️ Your Rights (Yes, You Actually Have Some)

Since I barely collect any data, there's not much to request. But here are your rights anyway:

• Right to know - You can ask what data I have (spoiler: probably nothing)
• Right to delete - Want me to forget your email? Just ask nicely
• Right to complain - If you're mad, email me. I'll probably apologize
• Right to be forgotten - I'll delete your data if you want (if I have any)

Note: I'm not a lawyer, so these rights might not be legally binding. But I'm a reasonable person, so just ask and I'll probably help you out.

🔒 Data Security (We Try Our Best)

I use HTTPS because it's 2025 and that's just common sense. My hosting provider (Vercel) has pretty good security, so your data is probably safer here than in your email inbox.

Reality check: No system is 100% secure, but I'm not storing your credit card info or social security number, so the risk is pretty low. If you're worried about hackers, maybe don't put your life story in the contact form.

📝 Changes to This Policy

If I ever start collecting more data (which I probably won't because I'm lazy), I'll update this policy and let you know. But honestly, I'd rather keep things simple.

Last updated: January 2025
Version: 2.0 (The "We're Still Not Facebook" Edition)

📧 Contact Information

If you have questions about privacy, data collection, or just want to chat about robot conspiracy theories, email me at:

hello@jeremexyz.com

I'll respond within 24 hours, unless I'm having a robot uprising emergency. In that case, please be patient while I deal with my mechanical overlords.

🤖 Robot Disclaimer & Affiliation Notice

Important: This privacy policy is written by a human, not an AI. However, I do have some robots in my basement, and they helped me write this (just kidding, they're still learning to make coffee). I'm not affiliated with any major tech companies, data brokers, or robot overlords. This is just my personal website, and I'm trying to be honest about how I handle your data.